Introduction 1.0

“Your fears climb up

Your spine like spiders

How can I show you

You have nothing to fear?”

I am afraid

Why am I so afraid?

I don’t exactly know how to get better

I don’t know how to get well

I know how to eat, but I don’t know how to actually get well. I don’t know how to get anorexia out of my mind.

It seems its stuck.

Why does food=fat in anorexia’s mind?

Why do I listen to anorexia when I know that food=fuel & food=fun.

How do I resurrect my true mind?

How do I resurrect my true self?

Where am I?

I need to find myself & I need to get well.

How do I do this?

The other day I ate a snack. A real, true, food, snack.  I felt so proud and so accomplished & I know it was a major step.  But that was last week.  And this is this week.

This week & cannot get myself to step off the scale. I cannot get myself to realize that I am more than a body. I am a soul WITH a body. My soul is more important than my body.

So why do I let my soul die just to see my body become nothing but bones?

What am I doing?

I will get well.

I will live

and breathe

and be.

I do not want rex any longer.


Onto the eats:

This was quite a delightful lunch. It consisted of a sunbutter/pumpkin/jelly wrap, a Fage 2% with strawberries (SOOOGOOD), a couple baby carrots, and a mini graham crack + chocolate square 🙂

This was also WONDERFUL! a frozen and then purred banana mixed with cinamon and vanilla extract and topped with coconut, some cherries, and some redi whip 🙂

And one day I would LOVE to have the courage to consume one of these beautiful cupcakes

Thanks! 🙂



One response to “Introduction 1.0

  1. great job on your challenges girl!! you WILL be able to eat a cupcake- challenge yourself this week! you will wake up the same person, i promise 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s