Non & None

Hello Beauties!

Its been quite awhile since my last post……I haven’t been doing too well as of latley and I don’t have a lot to say latley.  It seems like  as I fall into ED’s clutches, I lose my creativity & my ee-mage-in-a-shun. Which Sucks!! And the logical thing to do is run away from ED and “eat normally” (whatever that means).  But that is so hard to do.  And I don’t really know how to do it.  Also, its such a struggle for me because I have managed to hide this all from my family quite well.  But sometimes I wish I didn’t.  All I want is their compassion & their love.  But I know that all I would get is their mis-understanding & their anger.  And I don’t want that or need that.  I really need help.  But I don’t now where or how to get it.

I don’t even really know how to get better.  Because, I mean, I have been eating enough (and counting calories sadly 😦 ) but ED’s voice isn’t going away. It almost feels like its getting stronger.  & that scares me.  Food scares me.  Eating scares me.  My full tummy right now scares me.  The almost irresistible urge to throw up scares me. 

I want to throw up all the contents of my stomache

And

I want to throw up the loud voice of ED that is echoing in my head.

I guess I just have a lot to work on. 

Any Advice?

So with that I leave you lovelies for now.  Sorry this post is quite the downer, but I just have to be honest with you guys and myself

Best of whishes

Kaity

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3 responses to “Non & None

  1. Kaity,

    The only way you will ever be rid of those ED thoughts and voices is if you DO eat, and FIGHT.

    Those voices and thoughts will be with you regardless, but if you’re working towards a healthy place in life then eventually, those thoughts will start to die off, and you will be able to live a free life.

    I’m not saying it’s easy, because it’s not.
    But it’s worth it. It really is. You just have to believe it, and believe in yourself.

    You can do this. There is no shame in asking for help, and you have my support.

    All my love,
    Eleanor

  2. Kaity, I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling =( Hang in there and be strong: eat, food is your medicine. Do this for your life, for your future, and for your goals. Do this for you!

    Believe and trust yourself: because all of us do. We’re rooting for you hun!

    Paola ❤

  3. Like Eleanor said, the only way to get ED out of your mind is to stay strong and fight his harmful words. Do not give up and eventually ED’s voice will die out. If you succumb to him to make yourself feel temporarily better, he will only come back stronger.
    Stay strong for yourself…. for your imagination! You are a beautiful girl. Don’t let ED take your life away from you any longer.
    Eat. Live.

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